It’s not how much you say, but what you say that counts. Though we tend to underestimate the “quiet ones” because they often spew out some gems. Enjoy this list of priceless quotes from the “quiet” classmates.
1. Do You Have the Time?
So this one kid, who barely ever said two words, asks the teacher for the time (it was at some after-school thing and there was no clock). The teacher says the classic “time for you to get a watch”, which for some reason was funny to everyone else. The quiet kid doesn’t laugh. He looks the teacher dead in the eyes, and once everyone quieted down, he says “so are you gonna tell me the F_CKIN’ time, or what?” We were in like, 7th grade.
2. Waiting for the Right Time
This happens in my school all the time. You’ve got kids that just play on their iPad all semester, hardly paying attention, and then one day they come in, in the middle of a discussion. For example, my English teacher used the word “maroon” as a verb. Somebody said, “Sir, what do you mean?” And the quiet kid says, “Maroon is a color.” English teacher says, “Really? Four and a half months and that’s your contribution?”
3. The Future School Shooter
In middle school I would partner up with the other quiet “weird” kid in PE. One day we were walking back into the gym and he just looks at me and said “hey man if I ever shoot up the school I’ll let you live”. My response was basically “sweet, thanks” and he ended up dropping out shortly after.
4. Secret Sports Nut
In Junior High in the mid eighties the game “Trivial Pursuit” was all the rage. We played it in math class one day and this kid, Gary, who NEVER SAID ANYTHING AT ALL totally spanked everyone else by answering every single sports related trivia question. He got a lot of attention for it and I believe he walked a little taller after that day. I don’t think I ever heard him say anything else, but I did see him sitting on the bleachers at a few sports events.
5. Words Of Warning
At school, having just shown me the scope for (supposedly his) sniper rifle: “If the fire alarm ever goes off and you can’t find me, don’t use the doors as an exit”.
6. Safety Presentation
Giving a presentation in class, pulled out a screw driver and said “I could kill you, you, you, you, and you! Right now. ” If I remember correctly it was on safety, but he still got suspended.
7. Enough Is Enough
One of my students hardly said a word all year until a couple weeks ago. I was trying to get a group of talkative ones under control and she had enough. She yells out “SHUT THE F_CK UP! IM TRYING TO WORK YOU F_CKING ASSH_LES” Awkward silence followed because I didn’t know how to handle the normally studious and quiet one losing it.
8. I Want It All
We had a psychology class that included a “disorder day” where we had to pick a disorder and act it out the whole day, to show us how awful and tiring it was to actually experience them. Unbeknownst to all of us, the quiet girl picked kleptomania. In psychology that day, we were allowed to stop acting out what we did and relate our experiences to each other. When asked how her day was, she opened her backpack and took out a clock, six whiteboard markers, a teacher’s name tag, and a fire extinguisher. We were all a bit in awe.
9. A Problem With Bees
The quiet kid from my grade stood up one day, grabbed a broom, stood on a chair and began trying to swat bees that got inside. One bee landed on the window where quiet kid proceeded to yell “DIE BEE DIE” and then swatted and shattered the window. He screeched when it happened and then sat back down. Never heard him speak again.
10. Prom Musings
In high school, there was this really quiet girl named Grace. She was a pleasant person, but wouldn’t say anything more than “Hi” or “sorry” unless you asked her something. Even then, she’d appear terrified. It was at prom, and I was in the parking lot of the venue we had prom at. I lost a contact, and had to run to my car to grab my glasses. In the parking lot, Grace was smiling and walking from her car. She looked at me, laughed, and said “Ryan (her prom date) just fingered me.” I still laugh about it to this day.